Snippets from My Journal # 17 November 20, 2018

Thanksgiving 1999         [the first Thanksgiving after the death of my late husband, Mike]

Thanks1

Lord, You know this is the hardest Thanksgiving of my life. It’s only been three months and sometimes I still feel like I can’t even breathe.  Will it get any easier?  How do I go on without him?  I always assumed we would grow old together, play with our grandchildren together and just enjoy life together, teasing each other about things that older people tease each other about.

But he’s gone – I know he’s with You, rejoicing in Your presence, but if you don’t mind my saying so, Lord, that doesn’t do a lot to soothe the ache in my soul. I miss him so much.

Selah….

Yes, Lord, I hear You.  It’s Thanksgiving.  What do I have to be grateful for this year?

Oh so much, despite the grief.

Thank You, Lord, for Your sustaining grace.  Thank You for Your presence when I come to You each day.  Thank You that You give me inner joy even when tears roll down my face.

Thank You, Lord for the gift that Mike was in my life and in our children’s lives.  Thank You for how You used him in the pulpit and out of the pulpit.  Thank You for the messages he preached in words and by his example – messages I will never forget.

Thank You for the privilege of being his wife, standing beside him as he fulfilled his calling as a pastor.  Thank You for his humor that made us laugh; for His compassion that comforted us and for his exemplary prayer life.  The memory of seeing him on his knees morning after morning, seeking Your face propels me to do the same.  Thank You for the hundreds of precious memories that nothing can take from me.

Selah….

You’re right, Jesus.  You’re always right.  Though Mike is not here with us, I still DO have so, so much to be thankful for.

More than anything I want to thank You for You, Lord.  Thank You for coming to this earth for our Redemption.  Thank You that You conquered death and the grave; thank You for the eternal hope You plant in our souls when we give our lives to You.  Thank You that we can look forward to an eternity with You and our loved ones.

Jesus, there’s SO much I am thankful for – I could write a book, but it’s not a book You want, it’s my unconditional surrender to You and Your purpose for my life.

Have Your way, Lord, have Your way with me.  Grant me grace to carry on the legacy Mike left us – passionate love for You, for Your Word, for prayer and for servanthood.

I love you, Jesus – I’m so thankful for YOU in my life. I praise You and I worship You for Who you are and for granting me the grace to know You.

emptychair

And Lord, if it’s possible, would You just tell my beloved Mike ‘Happy Thanksgiving’ for me?

 

 

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s