Snippets from My Journal #9 Sept. 25, 2018

Nov. 16, 2014

A new perspective on Psalm 139 – it’s a psalm for disciples. I never saw it that way before.


First the Lord tells me that He knows me…really knows me…in verses 1-6.  Looking up the Hebrew was enlightening. The words He uses mean that He knows me intimately, better than I know myself.

God is like a detective, tracking even my most mundane activities, watching me when I think I’m alone, understanding what makes me tick and why I do what I do.  He penetrates past my ‘best foot forward’. He has such a grasp of me that He knows precisely what I will say or do next as if it had already been said and done.

He knows my heart, my thoughts, my dreams, my motives and my frustrations.  He knows my past, my present and my future.  He understands me. He ‘gets’ me.  He has me pegged better than I do.  I think my motive for doing something is this when God knows it’s that.

And with all that, He LOVES me….simple, everyday me….unconditionally.  In His kingdom there’s no such thing as a ‘nobody’.  Amazing love!

Secondly, He pursues me.  David is astounded and so am I! Verse 6 literally means ‘this is beyond me; it’s overwhelming!’  How true!

David’s reaction – and mine – to such incomprehensible love is a holy fear.  “Where can I hide?”  (vs. 7-12)  He knows what I did last week, last year, yesterday…but He tracks my path.  He doesn’t let me run away (vs. 10), not to point an accusing finger but to give me grace.  He wants to remain involved in my life – simple, everyday me!

Why? Because He wants me….He wants me…Incredible love, how can it be?  It makes me think of the story I heard about a little girl with a cleft palate. She was convinced that nobody outside her family could love her.  One day at school, the teacher was conducting hearing tests. The little girl had to stand with her back to the teacher, cover one ear and then the other,  She expected to hear something like ‘What color are your shoes?’ or ‘What’s your favorite food?’ Instead, the teacher whispered, ‘I wish you were my little girl.’

That’s how God loves us. Whatever things about ourselves we see as ugly, He still whispers, ‘I want you to be My little girl or My little boy.’  Reminds me of the scripture,‘Unless you become as little children, you shall not enter the Kingdom of Heaven.’

Thirdly, God Himself made me – vs. 13-16 The words ‘knit together’ made me think of my Mom who was a seamstress. How many times I watched her create beautiful wedding gowns, with intricate details, one stitch at a time, a labor of love.

It fascinates me that in the Hebrew, vs. 13 literally suggests that after God made me, He threw away the mold! No duplicates, no assembly line!  Totally unique – all of us are one of a kind.  There’s never been and there never will be another me.  He chose the personality, the abilities, the spiritual gifts and the specific purpose that sets me apart for Him.

So when I look in the mirror and find fault with what I see, I need to repent and say with David, ‘I am fearfully and wonderfully made.’  That’s the only reasonable response if I’m a disciple!  My life is about doing His will; it’s not about me.

Fourthly, He has a detailed plan for my life (vs. 16-18)  It blows my mind that God wrote a book about me, long before creation! (Jeremiah 29:11) He wrote it with boundless love besides! He mapped out the details of my life; in fact, in the Hebrew it says that He literally created each day of my life, tailoring the circumstances, establishing boundaries and fashioning opportunities for His glory and for my good.

And He didn’t just write the plan and then forget about it. He greets me every morning with fresh and new opportunities; He’s prepared to walk through each new day with me because He decided that He loves my company.  How incredible is that!

Lord, I repent for every time I allowed another human being to define me. I repent for drawing conclusions about myself based on their opinions or even my own opinion of myself.  As truly as you turned a Saul of Tarsus into a Paul the Apostle, you change each of us by your indwelling Spirit.  I want to agree with who YOU say I am!

I am not my own; I’ve been bought with a supreme price!  Jesus didn’t take out a mortgage on me so that I’m half His and half my own. He paid full price!

My ONLY reasonable response is to live my life as one huge ‘YES’ to Him, to seek Him, to come to know Him and to love Him with every fiber of my being.

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